Spherx's Domain

Some day’s I like to lay around naked with my dingle dangle hanging out, singing opera, and eating chocolate ice cream…I call this my Dingle Dangle Diva Day…This has nothing to do with anything I was just putting it down on paper to let everyone know I have a Dingle Dangle Diva Day…

I was walking in the park the other day whistling some phat beats, when I stumbled upon a small newspaper with ladies on it…It was called the Victoria’s Secret catalog…Who is this Victora and what is her so-called secret?…I decided to go on a journey to find out…this proved to be a little more difficult than I thought…Spherx and the gang had locked me in the park after I had smeared poop-staches on all of their self painted portraits…To be fair I painted one on my painting also…

So I had to plan an escape out of my poop-stache-painting-prison…but in order to do so I needed to make them think I was still inside that prison…so I, using a series of flowers and grass blades, painted a to scale version of myself standing in the corner…I then hid in the bushes and made a bunch of whispers to make people think that I needed to talk to them…Patches walked by and I whispered, “Free Brains”…he seemed to hear nothing and kept walking…Cora walked by and I whispered, “Hey there is a coupon to a hair boutique in here”…nothing…finally some carny looking bastard who had a wheel holding his head up was walking by…I whispered, “Hey Bro come check this out”…He paused and opened the gate using his massive head butting powers…

I started to walk out when I realized he too left a stream of urine on the ground…curious…any who I ran off to find Victoria’s Secret…I hope it is something dirty…like really dirty…

Okay so New Years Eve started out normal…I drank my face off and humped a tire…if it wasn’t for Spherx talking to me I would have cried with my penis but he kept yelling at me…man what a dick…I moved on to my number two sex toy the couch cushion and also along the way continued to drink…Overall I think I consumed a whole bottle of Jack…that is a pretty amazing feet for me…I woke up, covered in my own children, and began to throw up all over the floor…rambo style…every second felt like a thousand years…somehow, I made it to the kitchen and began to drink water straight from the tap…as I did so I also began to pee…Spherx came into the room and began a rant about always having to clean up my urine and that it smelled like pterodactyl vomit…”Well Spherx,” I muttered, “Fuck You!”

I continued to pee as I walked around the office just to spite Spherx, bastard…about twenty minutes later the worst headache ever began to thump my brain and I started to throw up again…I then passed out and woke up the next day…today…my room is covered in poop, vomit, urine, and something that looks like blood…it is nice to be home but still…that was a ridiculous hangover…