Spherx's Domain

So I decided I’d do some spring cleaning, now that it’s summer, so I ventured into the store room to set about shredding a bunch of our old files. That’s when I found a box full of my old incriminating evidence from various crimes I committed! I didn’t just throw that out, I burned it! While I was waiting for the fire to die down I noticed a peculiar box in the corner stacked upon a column of other file boxes and decided to flip through it. The box wasn’t labeled and to my surprise, inside was a cache of polaroids of various chitti that I didn’t recognize. One was extremely obese looking, and another had a ginormous forehead propped up by a crutch on a wheel. It was kinda gross but facinating at the same time.

Suddenly, while peeping through this mysterious box, I was started by the sound of a fart out in the hallway which caused me to drop the box and lose some of the photos in the crack between the file boxes and the wall. I yelled “Fuck!” and pulled the boxes from the wall so I could get to them but soon discovered a tiny, recessed door as well. Naturally I had to investigate further and upon opening it, was over-whelmed by the stench of ramen noodles and dried blood.

The door revealed a smelly dark passageway that I cautiously crawled into. The floor got stickier and squishier as I snuck further and further into the blackness until, finally, I saw a sliver of light at the other end. I pushed aside numerous cobwebs to get a closer look at what appeared to be Cora’s room. I didn’t see much else after that because I was swifty transported from the tunnel and somehow fell out of the sky and into the neighboring junkyard with the vicious guard dogs.

As I ran for my life, I wondered about the mysterious cavern I crawled through…

So I reluctantly went along with Mac and IC’s latest plan to exterminate the mutant cockroaches only out of bizarre curiosity. Last night, they masterminded converting Mac’s ass into a flamethrower.

The plan was for Mac to eat a feast of only beans and aparagus and then walk backward into the basement with Idiot Chittix following beside him holding a lighter up to his asshole. Thus, the subsequent flatulence resulted in a make-shift (or “make-shit”. Thankfully not.) flamethrower to torch those creepy roaches into oblivion.

I’m really fortunate I had no role in this plan and got to sit on the sidelines and watch it all go down.  Aside from cinging his butt a little, the plan worked really well. And because the fire sucked up the air, there wasn’t any fart smell to deal with!

Once all the bugs were toast, we searched the basement for Spherx’s body. To our amazement, he was actually alive but in really bad shape. It turns out the roaches laid a bunch of their eggs in his stomach and because they’re mutant eggs, Bug says they have an accelerated growth rate. So, while we were coming up with a rescue plan, they hatched and exited Spherx’s body by… any avenue available. Even made some new ones. I’d like to paint a better picture of Spherx’s appearance right now… but there isn’t one. It’s absolutely horrible. You can barely recognize him. Simply grizzly.

Although, in all fairness to the roaches, some of the damage is from Mac beating him with a pipe. And since IC peed on him, he’s probably battling an infection.