Spherx's Domain

Some day’s I like to lay around naked with my dingle dangle hanging out, singing opera, and eating chocolate ice cream…I call this my Dingle Dangle Diva Day…This has nothing to do with anything I was just putting it down on paper to let everyone know I have a Dingle Dangle Diva Day…

I was walking in the park the other day whistling some phat beats, when I stumbled upon a small newspaper with ladies on it…It was called the Victoria’s Secret catalog…Who is this Victora and what is her so-called secret?…I decided to go on a journey to find out…this proved to be a little more difficult than I thought…Spherx and the gang had locked me in the park after I had smeared poop-staches on all of their self painted portraits…To be fair I painted one on my painting also…

So I had to plan an escape out of my poop-stache-painting-prison…but in order to do so I needed to make them think I was still inside that prison…so I, using a series of flowers and grass blades, painted a to scale version of myself standing in the corner…I then hid in the bushes and made a bunch of whispers to make people think that I needed to talk to them…Patches walked by and I whispered, “Free Brains”…he seemed to hear nothing and kept walking…Cora walked by and I whispered, “Hey there is a coupon to a hair boutique in here”…nothing…finally some carny looking bastard who had a wheel holding his head up was walking by…I whispered, “Hey Bro come check this out”…He paused and opened the gate using his massive head butting powers…

I started to walk out when I realized he too left a stream of urine on the ground…curious…any who I ran off to find Victoria’s Secret…I hope it is something dirty…like really dirty…

Hey guys! Patches here with another awesomedary update. I’d like to share with all of you my love for the best hour of television! 24 is back and we’re about 7 hours into the new season and it looks to be another great one.

So far, America’s greatest patriot, Jack Bauer, has come out of retirement to help the new CTU (located in New York) first stop an assassination plot against foreign President Hassan and now track down nuclear arms from the Russians. To do this, Renee Walker from last season comes out of seclusion to help Jack infiltrate the Russian underworld. But since Jack last saw her, Renee has developed a bit of a deathwish complex and puts herself in harm’s way without any regard for her own safety.

In the latest episode,while Jack pretends to be a German arms buyer, Renee coerces her Russian contact to deal with Jack but for a price. Renee sleeps with the Russian and of course, afterward, he double-crosses her and Jack. Luckily Jack is too smart for that and has Agent Ortiz back him up as a sniper to take out the Russian’s henchmen.

Now I’m hungry for more! But I’ll have to wait until next week. Until then, I can fantasize about which characters I would eat. Obviously, as a zombie, a brain would be my prime choice and no one has a better brain on 24 than Jack Bauer. Tony Almeida wouldn’t be worth eating because he doesn’t have a heart. Edgar Styles would be excellent if I wanted the biggest feast! Hmm… there are so many characters to choose from. Nina Meyers is really stringy and would probably taste good at first but then turn sour in my stomach. Pretty much any CTU director but Bill Buchanan would disagree with my stomach… hmm, Jack’s daughter Kim would be a pretty sweet morsel…

Well, my eyes are getting bigger than my stomach so I should stop. Until next hour… *countdown clock sound*