The Refrigerator – Day 7

I awoke this morning freezing cold.

At first I thought that I had frozen to death, but that was just the delirium setting in for the long haul.

Suddenly my night vision sensors went unbelievably bright. After quickly raising the eye flap, I saw a gorgeous bright light at the end of a long compartment (right next to the baking soda). It was at this time that I heard the most majestic voice I ever heard. It was talking to me… I felt honored to be in this great being’s presence… even now I remember what it said. It asked me if there was any of last night’s pizza left. I quickly recovered my wits and responded, “no, Mac there wasn’t any the last twelve times you asked what made you think there would be some this time!!!”

After this annoyance, I was beginning to wonder if choosing Spherx’s fridge was the best place for my experiment. After all, every time Big Mac ran out of food he would devour the contents of Spherx’s fridge. It was a harrowing experience when I first realized my mistake, but fortunately I “didn’t quite agree with” the digestive system of Big Mac. (Note: Unfortunately my notes agreed perfectly with his digestive juices, which is why there is a sizeable gap in my records). At first I was insulted by the notion that I was considered a mere source of food for the glutton. About an hour later while I was attempting to recover from the disaster, I realized that Big Mac couldn’t eat me without getting ill. This excited me greatly since the only other “food” which Big Mac couldn’t eat was a certain Fruit Cake circa 1927. I decided that I would have to analyze the similarities between my cellular structures and Jiggles (what we named the fruitcake, who has since taken up gainful employment at Nebulus Visions. He makes the coffee. At least he claims he would if we drank coffee).

Anyway since that tragic event, I have worn a sign saying “Fat Free”. Big Mac is being very careful to avoid even coming in contact with me now. (I shall have to remember this method of Big Mac repulsion, so as to avoid the excuse of: “Sorry Spherx, Mac ate my latest report.” Sure we all laughed the first time. But the 27th time, Spherx started to just hit me).

Last night I heard some strange noises after Mac closed the door. After I ran these sounds through my universal sound identifier/translator, I was surprised to learn there is sentient life in Spherx’s fridge. They said, and I quote:

“Good the fat one left. Who’d he get?”
“Dr. Pepper.”
“Damn! Where are we going to find another physician of his caliber?”
“Oh great the geeky one is still here, when will he leave?”
[I have yet to decipher what these strange words mean, and who is this "geeky one." Could he perhaps be a god of theirs?]
” Perhaps he will make a good sacrifice for the great and almighty one”
“Yes, capture him!!!”

While I was still pondering over their strange use of syntax, three forms emerged from the chicken salad. They quickly subdued me with their noxious odors, and moldy cheese clubs.

To be concluded.

-Bug