by Bug Einme

Ok some people obviously haven’t been reading the bios page, Or else they would have noticed that I don’t know exactly how this marvel of marvels works. All I know is whatever I want to keep in there will fit, and whatever I need at the moment I can take out.

I do, on the other hand, know where I got it.

One day I was doing Advanced Thermodynamics, at recess. (I wasn’t really feeling up to doing anything too taxing on my mind at the time). Anyway all the other school Quirxes and Chitti started throwing objects at me. (They even tried to pretend it was a game. I think the called it Dodge ball. But I didn’t see the point to the so-called “game”. After years of pondering I think they were just using it as an excuse to beat the living $#!% out of me). Anyway I decided I need some sort of a device that could protect my head.

I went to the local Helmet Shops, but they were all too expensive. I mean come on 20 Euros for a helmet! I am a college student!!! What self respecting college student has that kind of money!! Anyway I thought all was lost and I would just have to use my arms to shield my head or move out of the way before something hit me. This seemed like a daunting task, as I am not very athletic. (For those of you who are wondering Stephen Hawking beat me in the Great Brain Race. It wasn’t my fault though he told me an equation he had been working on and I completely forgot about the race. On the plus side I figured out his mistake, too bad he got all the credit for solving it).

So as I thought all was doomed I wandered down town and saw Idiot Chittix, running around throwing an object in frustration. He looked quite disturbed (Uhhh. More so than usual). So I decided to see if I could help him with his current quandary. He told me that he was working on making his dinner (E-Z Mac 123). But after hours of cooking, all he got out was the object he was currently trying to destroy. This object just happened to be the Dimensionless Headshield. I offered him what at the time seemed to be a fair trade. I would make his dinner if he would give me the Helmet.

Fortunately for me he accepted the deal. Later I realized the capabilities of this Device that now sits atop my head. This came about when I was looking for some cleaning supplies (too clean off the goo and other stuff left behind by Idiot Chittix). While I was cleaning I found the Dimensionless compartment. Ever since I made this discovery I have been working in my free time to discover how it works.

In the years of study of this phenomenon I have discovered that this Helmet defies at least 12 known laws of Physics. The only problem is I haven’t decided exactly which laws it is defying. Oh well maybe someday Idiot Chittix will decided to cook his own dinner again an might conger up some blueprints for this thing. Then I could finally see how it works. Until next time.