This is the 2009 remake of the classic horror character, Jason Voorhies, that plays like the original where in as teens on vacation at Crystal Lake get slaughtered by a faster and more brutal version of Jason from the start. The original movie featured his mom as the killer and he didn’t dawn the iconic mask until Part 3.

	Hey Patches, we were cleaning out storage and found this box labeled “Patches’ Hockey Gear” and wanted to know if you still want it?
	Did you look inside it?
	Why would I look inside it? It’s labeled “Hockey Gear”. There’s hockey gear in here right?
	Yeah, you’re right. That makes sense. It’s just my hockey gear.
	Is there something other than hockey gear in this box?
	Nope. Just gear.
	I don’t know… It’s sounds like you’re hiding nudie mags in here.
	No. I hide those under my bed.
	Then why the hell do you sound so suspicious? What’s really in here?
	Just hockey gear, man. Plain old, regular hockey gear.
	(Spherx and Patches just stare at each other)
	I don’t believe you.
	(Spherx opens the box)
	Hmmm… a goalie mask with blood on it? You must play quite a physical game!
	Um. Yeah, I kick some ass.
	Blue jumpsuit?
	We can’t afford pro jerseys.
	A bloody machete?
	Um… That’s a poor man’s zamboni. We shave the ice down by hand. And that’s not blood. It’s paint.
	Oh right. From the line at center ice. Well it sounds like you want to keep this so I’ll go put it back in storage.
	Nah. Just leave it there. I might play a game later.
	Alrighty. By the way, do you know anything about the electrical problem we’ve been having? Bug’s saying the lights have been shorting out in his lab.
	No idea. Not really my concern unless my PS3 shuts off. Am I right? (laughs)
	(laughing) Right!
	Hey, you gonna be in your office later?
	Yeah, probably. Just sitting in my chair with my back to the door. Wearing my headphones and listening to my music really loud. At that time of day everyone is usually at the opposite end of the warehouse so if anything were to happened to me no one would hear my screams for help. Why?
	(Mac rushes in, out of breath)
	Hey guys! Come quick! Bug just found IC dead and hanging from a rope in his closet!
	(Bug and IC walk in)
	Nope! False alarm.
	Sorry. Bug just walked in on me while I was trying some auto-erotic asphyxiation. WOO! Guess I just passed out there.
	Well since we’re all here now…
	(Room lights go out)

• Score: B
• Reviewer: Spherx & Patches
• Date: February 13, 2009